"Give me the whip!"...

..."then throw me the idol!"


In June of 1981 I had recently moved to a new town, had yet to make many friends and spent my time daydreaming about escaping from the suburban rut. Then RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK opened up and I was mesmerized, becoming an obsessed fan of staggering proportions. Indy and Sallah became my friends. I spent every single Tuesday, Saturday and Sunday afternoon (dollar movie days) roaming Egypt and Peru with Indy. It was the coolest movie I had ever seen up to that point in my life (Star Wars and Bond were running VERY close seconds).

The first time I saw it, my old pal Gaines and I ran home, got my father's Super-8 (FILM) camera out of the closet and headed into the woods with a couple of toy guns, a rope, and a couple of cool beat up hats and then we staged a horribly shot, badly lit, terribly acted action scene "inspired" by our earlier watching of RAIDERS. I found my calling! I wanted to make movies in the desert, like Spielberg and David Lean. Why, what cooler job could there be? (Actually, what I really wanted to be was a globe-trotting adventurer like Indy and do all that shit for real).

I went to live in France at the end of the summer as part of an exchange program through my father's company, which was headquartered in Paris, and all I could think about before I left for Europe was that I wasn't going to get my regular dose of RAIDERS crack for an entire month. I didn't say, "WOW, I'm going to France." No sir, instead I just silently bemoaned the fact that I would not see Indy fight off the same old Nazis for a whole month. Then the real fear hit me, what if for Gods sake, the film is pulled from the theater before I get back? It might be YEARS before I see it again. This was pre-videotapekids,a pre-Blockbuster/NetFlix era. I'd have to WAIT to see it on cable TV, at a friends house, because we didn't have cable TV. Oh well, I managed to last the month without my fix and I still had a good time in France. Though I had a mission to prep all my new little French friends on the coming of the greatest film ever made as I figured it would come to France someday and therefore I was sent to prepare the way for them.

I had an old white hat that I PAINTED brown so I could have a fedora like Indy and I'm sure I looked stupid as hell in but I didn't care, I was fighting and endless parade of Nazis in my dreams and unearthing great treasures to boot! The film had yet to open in France and hence no one there that had a clue about what it was that I was endlessly going on about. They all thought I was just a strange bird with a painted brown hat, a crazy American.

A few years later, I made another of my low budget films, this one was called MANHUNT and it was also a FLAT-OUT ripoff of the whole RAIDERS trip (this concerned an Adventurer being chased around New Guinea by US Naval Intelligence. The jungles of New Guinea were the woods behind my suburban home). I even turned my parents basement into a south sea bar (my twelve year old brother playing a french expat barkeep) and cast all my crazy pals to play the other parts (I was the star of course). I even USED the music from RAIDERS as my soundtrack - which I would literally play on the stereo in the room as we were shooting each scene because I had no other way to sync to music (yelling "cut" meant running over and removing the needle from my soon to be worn out RAIDERS record). I shot the film/video with old crappy and quite cumbersome equipment borrowed from the school A/V lab. I was in heaven.

Looking back, the film was actually not so bad, for a $16 dollar production - it was full of action and general silliness. We even used a cache of real guns borrowed from the family arsenal of one of the young actors (his dad was on the SWAT team)- who was cast specifically for this reason and not for his horrid acting ability. We procurred blanks for them (I cannot remember how we got blanks, I think the SWAT team dad hooked us up) and went back out into those woods, with a hundreds of feet of extension cord stretched from the house to the woods (this was a pre-battery pack video camera - you had to take the ENTIRE VCR with you to shoot, this was to say the least a great big pain in the ass) and got to shooting, literally. We had .357 magnums, a .22 and a shotgun. Can you imagine a bunch of 15-year-old kids running around now and "shooting" real guns at each other in a suburban enviroment without raising an eyebrow? "Oh, the boys are just making a movie." Pre-Columbine for sure. No one seemed to notice or care.

I cut the movie using two old bulky VCRs (which was tricky because when you hit STOP, the tape would wind a little past where you stopped it, so you had to sort of Guess that your cut was on the money, and it usually was not, but there were some moments that were spot on). Anyway, it all took about 6 months on as I said a budget of about $16 dollars and a few frayed nerves on everyones part (namely my parents) and then I showed it at school, once.

It was soon to be sabotaged by one of my main actors who thought he looked fat in it (he did) and had issues (he has since apologized and lost all the weight). He cut the tape up and that was that. I still had my EDIT copy, with all the takes and was able to hold onto that for a couple of more years but it was stolen in 1989 when I was robbed (it was in a suitcase full of personal items - photos, journals, the film, that the bastards hauled off). I'd love to see that movie now but it only lives in my head.

So long story short, this little item about three boys who spent years remaking RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK shot-for-shot, the old fashioned way on VIDEO, BETAMAX etc. (pre-Hi8 and DV camera, and Editing software) dredged up a lot of fond memories for me this morning when I saw a piece on the BBC about it. I can't wait to see it.

I still have that first Super-8 3 minute roll of film that showcased the wild dreams of my 14-year-old self.

Here is a link to the story about the RAIDERS remake:
Austin Chronicle
RAIDERS RE-MAKE
NPR story

My Psychic Meltdown

this is a nice representation of how I feel right now

Now witness the true power of the dark side!

The Emperor Strikes Back! Let the cloning begin!

It was only a matter of time...

before someone got hold of Madalone's Nightmare and turned it into a beautiful dream/

America, F%#K Yeah!"

The Little Dictator had Leni Riefenstahl...

...to gloss up and sell his nightmare to the good people of Germany. Now Dubya & Delay have Dennis Madalone to do the same for the "good people" of the USA:

Triumph of the Will

THE YEAR 2025 - 20 Long Years from RIGHT Now! Me? Alive or Dead? Mmm, Gamble, roll the Dice...No one Know's for sure...really?

I had a skinny tie.

I liked my skinny tie.

How much will have really changed 20 years from RIGHT NOW?

about as much as changed in the last 20 I suppose.

Oh, the surviving members of Maroon 5 and Franz Ferdinand will be on the oldies but goodies circuit rawking out, keeping the dream alive as it were, the same fucking dream that every generation is saddled with once they shed the real, wild, unbridled vestiges of youth and make that one-sided deal with the end of the road: I have GREAT HOPE: If Duran Duran is stil rocking, then fuckit, I will too!

Duran Duran!!

William Burroughs would have loved SPAM

Spam isn’t all bad.

I have been receiving some wonderful SPAM for the last year or so and I thought it might be time to share some of it with you. It always comes dressed as an advertisement for virility drugs and at the tail end of each ad for these quasi-illegal stimulants there is attached a thick slice of meaty prose; William S. Burroughs style. The stuff is gibberish, but it does not matter actually, because it is supposed to be rather senseless, as it is not a linear story line; it is language, pure language, words, rhythm, noise, or is it?

It actually reminds me of my old pal Mr. Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music double album for RCA, which no one seems to like, but that I have come to absolutely love because I find it so, how shall I say, pure & clean & sonic?

So, enough of my yakking already, read on and enjoy some digital cut-ups why don’t’cha - Here is a nice long snippet of some inter-web-spam/burroughs-esque linguistic genius that has come my way in the last few weeks. I am so lucky to get a chance to read this, and now, so are you:


I cannot guess your reason for so thinking, my lord, I replied, but
Oh, said the loafer, with a grin, it is very warm hereabouts,
little affectation, if any; drinking the warm ale with a tea-spoon,
in being more lasting and more firmly established. The various kinds
Traddles, and the rest of those boys; and felt my hopes of growing
virtue of which it was given to me, it was lost, and could never be
exist at all, neither proposition is true, but even if the subject
of the fire, and running him through with it. It went from me with
were changed at all; but it was as undefined as ever, and addressed
As I cant be anything important, said Tootles, would any of
this cost him, or the consciousness of talking in that feeble way,
understanding that I had now of his misdirected energy, became an
or two gun-rooms and cabins he was not a little criticized by some Peggotty knew it. I said that I had been more miserable than I
I said that I should hope to hear, whenever she had an opportunity this, it would likely stick at nothing; and that to fall by the sword,
reward, and he was free. It might please the authorities to give to it I asked for no more information about Mr. Wickfield, as she offered
She was pleased, but answered, Tut, Trot; MY old bones would have thoughts upon the future, and was so well content with what I then
because I - hadnt any money. Now, I have kept my eye since, upon I reserve my answer, said I. The question will be put to me at the
To show that her departure would leave him unmoved, he skipped up up in a corner of the counterpane, and cried myself to sleep.
before, and I felt and told her with the deepest gratitude that take it now as an example to you, Michael, if I hadnt lost the
shoulder, her sweet eyes shining through her tears, on mine. But I had had my view of that detestable business they call politics -
your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? Im sure _I_ shant made a speech about me, in the course of which I had been affected
that Mr. Micawber is destined never to receive any answers whatever fling on the proceedings. Sirs, this is a tale to make the world ring
it looked upon a horse. - and her shawl would not keep right, and grave, where for a few moments, in the bright and silent midnight,
het stane to his wame, and we gied him hyssop and water of pennyroyal, I think, sir, says Alan, that you speak the English?
that your being secret and clandestine, is not being like the idyllic nature of the scene shook him profoundly. Mastered by
keeps no diary in these days; never sings Affections Dirge; and pen cannot describe the happy scene, over which we draw a veil.
mountain would never be called small or a grain large. Again, we say It was almost ten oclock before we heard the sound of wheels. We
quartered on us like a horrible young changeling. He had a lively ironical politeness Hook raised his hat to her, and, offering her
Agnes; but seeing that I looked as usual, she took off her illiterate nightingale was sometimes the composer of his own song.
furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live Peggotty is quite comfortable now, Mr. Barkis, I remarked, for
nature, be increased by the sum of one more helpless victim; whose suggestions as to plotting disaffection aboard. Yes, the shrewd may soprobability half as learned. Reasoning would not change the fact; and Trotwood, come here, getting me close to him, that he might
expressing heretical opinions on various points of ceremony, she think we should be too much of a handful, sir? Because if so we can go
the attitude of something. So it is with all other relatives that have checking himself, and pausing a long time, therell be a pretty
He dined in town yesterday, and drove down in the phaeton by Hereupon all three, and the old Miss Grant as well, cried out against
Mr. Micawber attentively, with his whole face breathing short and leave the wood without waiting to see Alan, and go forth again alone,
in such matters is not easy to natures constituted like Captain reality and mystery of the whole show, the influence upon me of the
and ruin, its as bad. I doent know, being a ladys, but what all our wisdom till the end of time. And till the end of time young
But, Peggotty told me, when she lighted me to a little chamber you,- at the crisis too- a troubled hesitancy, proceeding, I doubt
Liza was in a bad temper, for she was mixing the Christmas Dismal enough in the dark, he said: and the sea roars as if it
nothing. I told you she took everything, herself included, to a Tedious talk this, but being a stay-at-home she liked it.
accede to Mr. Copperfields proposal, as to admit his visits here. returned to the home, where an unworthy scene had been enacted in
You see I know more than you fancied, he resumed in triumph. And as I observed the Old Soldier - not to adopt the name disrespectfully
lives down in Devonshire - one of ten. Consequently, I am not so O yes, Mr. David, said she, that is what I think of you. The head
Dora told me, shortly afterwards, that she was going to be a not but think there was kindness in the eye with which she saw me.
picturesqueness, to the Monitors and yet mightier hulls of the cheap place. These provisions laid in, we went on through a great
at all, and in which he surpassed all his previous efforts, Mr. old desperate sept of caterans would be banded against me with the
A curse upon you. she said, looking round at me, with a mingled Suppose we change the subject, the March Hare interrupted,
prepared to be a father also; and for a boy like me to play the father ready: but both our master and the patroon of the boat scrupled at the
sat, at first, a little way off, at her spinning, or such work as As I am not to hear the matter, says the laird, I will not take uponAh. then yours wasnt a really good school, said the Mock of ten years endeavouring to keep King Charles the First out of the
seeing Mrs. Steerforth. As I felt bound to assist him in this, and never heard the cry of anguish he hoped to wring from her. He heard
necessary to demonstrate certain principles that were axioms to I believed, from the solitary and thoughtful way in which my mother
on his arm. They were all delighted with my residence. When I it would not be advisable, Starkey, to humour the hook?
I see my follies, now, sir. Thats what makes me comfortable. was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.
visit him to-morrow in the castle whither he was now transferred, and gentleman now and then receives a call from some simple traveller, and
Stay. said Miss Lavinia, holding up her hand; we resolved, moment, I could lay all these troubles by, which were after all and
real, and that I should wake in Buckingham Street presently, and weapons as they could find. First signing to them to hide, Peter cut
another map showing through, it is all rather confusing, especially as most disastrous step of marrying you, in short, said my aunt, to
way. Number two in the Court was soon reached; and an inscription the power of reasoning; did as I was bid; took my leave I know not how;
hour. Then she came out, and took a seat beside me. do. It just goes out of itself when she falls asleep, same as the
all love and laughter, every time I cast an eye on you. And now I will Agnes was one of Mr. Dicks friends, very soon; and in often coming
How the time wears, I know not; until I am recalled by my undoing itself, she carried it out into the open air. IF I
relative positions, Uriahs of power and Mr. Wickfields of Tinker Bell, and knew that in their dire hour they were not likely
Of course; that is why I have come He added a little sternly, that to have beneath our roof, under existing circumstances, a mind
sparrows to this hour, for nothing else, and see the plumage of the bat? when suddenly, thump. thump. down she came upon a heap of
those butterflies, and give em to the chimney-sweepers for substances, it is clear from the following arguments apart from
beautifully. She was much pleased, and bowed beautifully to him from glimmering afar off, and yet again. And he wondered about it, in
her art should fail, and she should think of hiding of herself. several of them were in the air at a time, like bales of goods flungtongue-tie of- him- in yonder, again designating the mortuary
Shun-repentance, to descant upon the inestimable advantages
shall come near me, living or dying, while I can raise my hand to

Crunch time

I'm still here. I'm in the last couple of weeks of class now. Papers, papers, papers! For those of you who've been through this, you know the drill.

On the bright side, the world is still the same insane place that is was before I got swamped so I'll have much to talk about when I return.

Spring forward...in Savannah, Georgia.

Our Savannah neighorhood on a great April the 3rd spring day. We moved the clocks forward today, the people were out and the flowers are blooming. Spring is here.

Head for the Mountains...

...with Beer! In the spirit of Doug & Bob Mckenzie we can thank this wily Slovak for showing us that beer, and a lot of it, should be a requisite ingredient in one's road kit for any trip to the snowy peaks.