Food For Thought

Live Long and Prosper

Good news, for me that is and for those who enjoy my company.

According to this online aging quiz my life expectancy is 87.3 years. I'll take it! 87 seems like a good lifetime as long as those last ten years are relatively healthy ones (meaning: no bedridden, wheelchair existence with a side order of tubes and needles).

A Phony Writer and His Dopey, Insulting Column: an open letter to Neil Steinberg

This is my response to a slanderous column written by New York Daily News/Chicago Sun-Times scribbler Neil Steinberg that pertains to Kerry Skarbakka's performance/photography piece he did in Chicago at the MCA on June 14th, 2005. Steinberg, along with a NY Daily News staff hack by the name of Adam Lisberg, said that Kerry was "Reenacting" 9/11 (like Civil War reenacting) and this of course got the villagers in a huff. Kerry has been doing this body of work which deals with falling and loss of control and suspended animation for four years now, to much acclaim and with a few misconstrued quotes, these two assholes have sought to tear him down. Fuck them both.

Oh, here is the link to Steinberg's column:
Steinberg's Rant


Dear Neil,

T'is a sad, sad day when a writer of promise, one that I previously enjoyed and one who showed so much potential, ends up as just another gassy windbag hack flinging a bag of alphabet feces around the gilded cage down at the fish wrap factory.

Just what am I talking about?

Well Neil, I'll tell you.

A few years back I stumbled across a fine little tome called Complete & Utter Failure, ever heard of it? My, how easy it would have been to read a few of it's intense, navel gazing passages and to have said to myself, "what a piece of shit, this poseur thinks himself an author? an artist ? What dumb-ass editor green-lit this narcissistic twaddle?"

I can hear it now: "It's called Compete & Utter Failure, it'll be a huge Success!" (481,697 on the Amazon.com sales ranking. Is that good or bad?)

Alas, it was not to be.

At first glance it seemed a rather sad book from what little I gathered from reading a few somewhat depressing lines from it. In fact, I guessed this Neil Steinberg fellow really was a complete & utter failure and I wondered how he holds his woeful little head up over there at the Sun-Times while he pens his lite & quirky little slice-o-lifers? It must be hard for him now that he's laid bare his sensitive soul. Newspaper folk can be notoriously mean-spirited and cold blooded. But, since the book was only a dollar at a used bookstore on Clark in Chicago, my girlfriend hurled the ringer and slapped down the buck, "what the hell, let's give Mr. Failure a chance."

You see, we're like that Neil, we give an artist a chance to be heard, their due as it were. Perhaps the book was a slow mover as they say in the lit-biz, eh? Chalk it up to experience and thank the furies for the cushy day job right?

Well, it is a good thing we didn't jump to that conclusion and judge the book by it's silly cover or it's rather small size (the hardback version) nor from a few skimmed passages, because after getting into the meat of it Neil, and actually listening to the voice of the writer (who just happens to be you), I saw there was actually some value to be found within it's pages, but perhaps, with hindsight, I jumped too quickly to my conclusion. Perhaps I misread your book? Maybe I read it too slowly, perhaps I need to read it faster, in disconnected chunks, like I'd read, say, a slanderous column in the New York Daily News. I mean, who has time to really read these days anyway?

Why? Because after reading your beef-witted rant concerning the artist Kerry Skarbakka, I couldn't help but to be amazed that the same thoughtful gent who penned the book Complete & Utter Failure (and seemed to have a handle on art and what motivates it) was responsible for this sort of myopic and bile laden screed directed at an artist. An artist you know practically nothing about. It is quite obvious from your column that you did absolutely ZERO preparation before jumping on your little bold print thunder-box to prod the villagers into a pitchfork wielding blood frenzy - you had your pre-arranged agenda and that agenda had nothing to do with understanding Kerry's work, but instead you sought to tear him down. Such a fine, fine use of your talents Neil, though it is obvious that you have found the perfect hearth to warm your frosty toes over there at West 33rd.

As for your sticking up for the victims of 9/11, well golly gee, aren't you a bold sort (That "job" has almost become a NYC media profession in its own right has it not? You, Pataki and Bloomberg - heroes all, each on constant vigilant watch for cultural "terrorists" who squirm amongst us getting grant money in which to despoil our national purity: "Avert your eyes good children! Here there be Dragons!").

Shit Neil, why not go all the way and just get the old blacklist going again while your at it?

Gee, whipping the Boroughs into a fit over "that day" sure takes a lot of concerted effort does it not? Anyone can step on the third rail Neil, but why would they? The Mayor (a noted commentator on the arts if there ever was one) was quoted as saying that Kerry Skarbakka was "nauseatingly offensive" and I beg to differ from hizzoner and I'll tell you why, because you know what is really "nauseatingly offensive" to me Neil?

It has nothing to do with art.

No, it is much more nefarious and sinister. Why I wonder, do you not to point your laser-like, steely-eyed columnist gaze towards the real creeps in this sad national story? Why not write about how "that day" has been endlessly mined and exploited by some less-than-honorable though very powerful elements in this country, and how this exploitation has resulted in the real maiming and deaths of thousands of young American men and women in our armed services (not to mention an unknown number of civilians)? What? You don't consider the relentless squeezing of young blood out of that horrible day to be exploitation? Mmm.

9/11 happened to ALL of us Neil and even if Kerry Skarbakka was initially "inspired" by the events of that day to get up and live his life and used that inspiration to create (because artists create Neil, that is what they do) he would not be alone in his efforts. Many people changed the way they went about their lives after that day of horror. Many were "inspired" by it to make art: films were made, songs written, t-shirts were silk-screened, tacky bumper stickers were printed, and yes, even performance pieces were created - whether you like them or not. Exploitation? How about some blow-hard, lint-head like Toby Keith who found a way to exploit all those dead office workers by whipping the "with-us-or-against-us" yellow-ribbon herd into a blind "kill-em-all" death frenzy and raking in piles of pocket cabbage while doing it. What's that if not exploitation? Kerry Skarbakka instead found a quiet solace in his art, creating a body of work that has nothing to do with 9/11 and everything to do with real expression and the real freedom that comes from that expression.

And you seek to crucify him?

If you cannot comprehend an art that seeks to travel beyond "painting a bowl of fruit" (as one of the Mensa candidate's was quoted as saying in your paper when asked what real art is) or a Thomas Kincaid paint-by-numbers moonscape that is purchased at at the mall solely because its soft, non-offensive colors match the gimcrackery in your home, then this only points to a level of low-watt ignorance. Do really you hate all the things you do not understand? History is sadly ripe with that sad story line. Why don't you write about that?

The person who wrote Complete & Utter Failure seemed to be in touch with something deeper, but now even that little book may require a quick (operative word) re-read in order to shuffle your words in a dyslexic dance and take them out of context, because really, what does it matter if anyone understands just what it is you are trying to say? Just another poseur hack, right? Unfortunately, at the moment, I do not have the platform of the New York Daily News to spew invective from (are you jockeying for a gig as a screamer on FOX because that is exactly what your column sounds like - perhaps that will work out for you, you'd fit in nicely over there) so all I can do is write you and post this letter on my blog for anyone who is interested in the real story behind Kerry Skarbakka's work.

So with no further ado, it obviously seems that I misread your work before and I'll pay more heed to the Neil Steinberg who has discovered that his comfort zone is in dragging the honest intentions of others through the low-com-denom cultural Cuisinart. Perhaps Neil you too are suffering from a deeply flawed "failure to communicate". Maybe your next book should be called Mediocre & Forgettable or how about Mendacity?

You know Neil, I'm in Chicago and New York City occasionally, so perhaps we can meet in front of the Sun-Times or the Daily News and you can show me that cat o'nine tails trick you seek to publicly perform on Kerry Skarbakka's back, I'd love to see you try. Perhaps I'll bring one too and give it whirl - on you. How thick is your skin? We'll all get medieval and call it art.

Cheers,

Rob Oldham
Patron of the Arts and Southern Gentleman

The Fall

As I mentioned earlier, our old Chicago pal Kerry Skarbakka drew crowds yesterday in Chicago as he "fell" over and over from the roof of the Chicago Museum of Contemporary Art and from what seems like a lot of press attention, it all went off well. Kerry's leap was the cover story for the Chicago Reader this week also, which is very cool.
Chicago Sun Times article
Chicago Reader

Ah, Rock AND Roll!

Champagne Super-fuck-off!

Gonzo update:

Flying Dog Ales is doing a commemorative gonzo four pack of brew which looks pretty cool. They claim on the website that "$1 from each case sold and $10 from each of the signed Steadman bottles will go towards building the Gonzo Memorial Fist in Aspen. The 150 foot stone column complete with a giant red fist at its summit will tower above Hunter’s Owl Farm Estate for all eternity."

Cool.

"So, it's got that going for it, which is nice."

Has anybody seen those top secret "how to build a nuclear weapon" plans?

Yeah, sorry, but they were right here you know, in a drawer or maybe they were in the car? I don't know, they were somewhere around here but then we went to get a espresso at Starbucks and before you know it, bang, someone must have swooped right on in here and snatched them up! What am I talking about? Well maybe this will help you sleep a little better at night

I suspected Kerry was a bit of a dumb-ass and now it is confirmed, Bush did better at Yale. DANGEROUSLY LACKLUSTER & SLUG-WITTED, FRAT-BOY MORONS LEAD (AND SEEK TO LEAD) NATION TO RUIN: NATION FALLS IN LOCK STEP AND GOES SHOPPING FOR PLASTIC SHIT-ON-A-STICK MADE IN CHINA

I think the word is "Dynamic"

This is a hint-hint-nudge-nudge to all my photog pals whose sites I link to and well, what can I say, I love all your work and I think you are all true geniuses BUT don't you think it's about time to toss up some NEW work on your sites. I know you are all busy-busy-busy but hey, how-sa-bout-a-little-something-for-the-fans?

Speaking of photogs, a friend of ours from the Chicago days, Kerry Skarbakka, made the cover of APERTURE magazine this quarter - (see above) - Touche'Kerry! I loaned the crazy bastard my old climbing harness back in 2001 when he first felt the need to toss his arse off of buildings, trees, bridges, etc. and so I am very happy that he has come this far with this idea. I also own a small Skarbakka print from this initial series of shots, which has hung on a wall in three homes now and it is a print which I love. It's called "Porch" and you can view it on his website here. He'll be jumping off the roof of the Museum of Contemporary Art in Chicago on June 14th so if in the Windy City on that date, drop by and check it out. Be safe Kerry and keep up the good work.

She must be spinning in her grave!

I started a new job writing bait & switch cover story's for the Pentagon and the State Department where I am pulling down a fat six figure salary with the added bonus of a Country Club membership in Chevy Chase Maryland (that I will never use), though because of this fact, the frostback-black-op-government spooks demand a great deal of blood and sweat for the people's cash. Did you see my "Deep Throat" thing? Yep, you got it, a big, choking smokescreen used to cover up some other nefarious deed that I can't go into. We've got ton's of these sort of shenanigans that we can pull out of the black bag whenever we need to "avert the gaze" as it were. And today it seems we were successful, as the Deep Throat thing is top-o-the-fold page one news. Remember, keep your eye on the "other" hand.